MTF drag king?

     I bought a new dress today. It has straps but I think I can tuck them in and wear it strapless. I seriously enjoyed shopping today. I might have to do it more often. I needed to be a little girly today. I had a rough week of people calling me "he," though the more I think about it, I think it's because my expectations of "passing" have changed. Early on in my transition I just wanted to be accepted as a trans woman, now it's really important for me to be accepted as a woman the trans part being irrelevant. The rebel in me is actually getting kind of motivated to do drag, female to male drag; I want to perform as a drag king.

     It's been almost a year and a half since I've dressed as a man, and I'm actually really glad of that fact. The thing about drag that I find attractive is the chance for me to own my past as well as put it behind me. Performing as a drag king would kind of be a way of saying this man that people thought I was was only performance. See. It also would push gender boundaries (in Richmond) that really need to be pushed. I own my femininity and my sexuality as much as any other woman does. I think it's a little unfair that drag is closed to me.

     I find drag really interesting as a transsexual. In college I wrote a paper about Patsy from Ab-Fab and how she was a female bodied drag queen. Basically I argued that drag is an over exaggerated  performance of one gender by a person with a different gender. Patsy is a very masculine character in her thoughts and actions but adopts a very exaggerated feminine image. I think this definition still holds but it occurs to me that there is another side to drag as well. It is also a gay parody of heterosexuality. Drag queens mock femininity and thus as gay men also mock heterosexuality. It's kind of saying "You don't think it's okay for me to be attracted to men but you would be fine with it if I looked like this." Of course most real women don't resemble drag queens. I think this parody is less and less relevant as homosexuality is more and more accepted. People don't view homosexuality as wrong and thus drag really isn't pushing any limits anymore, at least the drag in Richmond that I've seen. I wonder whether drag is artistically relevant. 

     In a sense me performing as a drag king would be really reminiscent of earlier drag when homosexuality wasn't as accepted. I would be rebuking the assumption of heterosexuality that haunted me pre-transition because I was attracted to women. It kind of would be saying "You call me straight? Here's straight for you," and it says something about my gender identity, sexual identity. For me or another mtf  to mock masculine heterosexuality would really help to  make a point about gender identity and sexual identity that I think a lot of people just don't get. Drag is about gender and gender identity not about physical sex. It isn't a male performing as female, it is a man performing as a woman and vice versa.  Performing as a queen makes a statement about me and my gender that I am not comfortable making, however performing as a king would be entirely relevant.

     I don't know that I would want to do it more than once. For me, despite the artistic and social relevance of an mtf drag king, it really would be more about putting something behind me.