paranoia about a cheesy retreat

     Well this all might be mild paranoia, then again maybe it isn't. Kerri, one of the trannies in the JRTS also is a receptionist at the fan free clinic. Well she came in last night with Deshaun who is some type of administrator there and I swear they were talking about me, or rather Kerri was talking about me to Deshaun. I swear I heard "Natalie" quite a bit. I caught bits and pieces of this conversation. Of course every time I walked by it seemed as if their voices got a little lower, but the gist of the conversation if I understood it right was this:  I've really tried to talk to her and get her back in our group but she just refused. It's weird that Natalie has no transgendered friends. I think that is a serious problem...That's why I think we should have a retreat.
      Hell no. I'm not going to go to some sort of cheesy male to female retreat. At least not if it is going to be what I suspect; make-up lessons, tips on passing, and a bunch of people who have never read any sort of trans theory whatsoever. Now I admit that all this might be my imagination. I would never confront anyone about any of this. That would of course be the difference between a little bit of sane paranoia and mental illness. But it does give me an idea for my next op/ed. I think I am going to write about the trans community or lack of trans community in Richmond.
       My biggest problem with trans support groups is that I prefer not to discuss my personal problems in a large group, and JRTS is huge. Also I think having a support group for everyone on the mtf "spectrum" is ridiculous. I am female psychologically, and socially if not completely physically yet. Why would you include me in a group that also contains cross-dressers who are psychologically and socially men? A better "support" group would be for female identified transsexual people, or better female identified transsexual people who are about the same age and have something in common. As of yet every time I have attended a meeting or sat with that group when they come into Babe's I have been drowned out in conversation or had to listen to conversation I have found pathetically boring; man stuff, motorcycle repair, home repair, how often you should get a manicure.
      I would like an mtf friend, but she is going to have to be someone I actually have something in common with.