What if I'm straight?

Well it's late and I might as post this.
     I have always been attracted to women. When I started hormones almost 16 months ago I was aware that that could change. Several months into hormones I tried making out with a guy. It didn't have the spark that kissing a girl does. A year into hormones I still wasn't attracted to guys so I figured it probably wasn't going to change. Actually a year into hormones I had already dated two lesbians. I figured that I was a transsexual lesbian and I was actually rather happy with that.
      Lately I've started to have sex dreams about some of the men I know. Sex dreams are kind of a new thing for me. I only ever had one as a guy and it was more sexual than it was a sex dream. In it I was with a girl I knew and we wanted to kiss but for some reason we couldn't. These dreams I've been having lately are definitely sex dreams. I'm also really beginning to wonder what it would be like to date men. Just recently I saw a guy take off his shirt and I was like...hey.
     Honestly, I don't know. As a man I was somewhere between bisexual, heterosexual, and asexual. Honestly probably more asexual than anything else, but I did want a relationship and I did think of myself as being in a relationship with a woman. Actually I really couldn't imagine ever connecting with a man well enough to want a relationship with him, and sex (believe me) was more of something I felt obligated to do not something I actually desired, and it made me a little nervous. It was something that if I had to do I'd rather do it with a woman because I trust women a lot more than I do men.
     My sexual desire has increased ten fold with estrogen. It is actually one of the things that has really convinced me that I most certainly have a female brain, because even before the estrogen changed my body I was thinking about and desiring physical contact like I never had before. My male sexuality was really undeveloped. I wasn't really capable of sexually developing fully as a man. I just don't have that in me. I think I always basically had a female sexuality. I think it was stunted because I wasn't able to receive the hormones I needed to mature sexually and the thing I appreciate most about estrogen is having been able to experience sexuality more fully than I ever imagined was possible. How does a female sexuality develop? If you have gone through female puberty I'd appreciate any feedback.
      Would it be normal for a "straight" girl to initially be attracted to really masculine girls or really feminine guys before she started finding men attractive? I mean I remember when I was twelve it seemed all the girls had crushes on the really physically feminine boys. The other thing is that I kind of learned not to really trust guys. They were always the ones who picked on me, and when I was really young and pretty honest about thinking I should be a girl they were the ones who thought that was really weird. I wonder how much of my aversion to dating them is nothing more than not trusting them, or because the idea of two men together is really kind of gross to me and it really is only now that I've come to regard my body as female. I look like a woman when I am naked...except for the obvious.
     My life would be much easier if I did date men. Also I'm beginning to lose interest in the gay community. The truth is I don't want anyone touching my penis, and considering our genitals are rather important to who we are sexually I might not even know until I have my surgery. I wonder if I'm going to be one of those straight transsexual women who leave the gay community and live fairly normal heterosexual life. I also know that a lot of lesbians did date men before they realized they were gay...Considering my background wouldn't it be kind of the same thing for me to date women...even after coming out as transsexual.
     I can say that coming out as "straight" would not be the easiest thing for me to do. Also it really is a bit of a mind trip because I've defined myself as being attracted primarily to women for a long time now. It's weird to know that my sexual identity is more fluid than I would like to believe.