Virginia TIES, Our need for a trans*feminist movement

I went to the Equality Virginia sponsored transgender conference, Virginia TIES. So I guess I should write about that a little bit.

Okay, since you probably want to know what TIES stands for: Transgender Information and Empowerment Summit.

I have to say I enjoyed it. Registration was at 9 in the morning and I work late so that was rough. I went saw the opening remarks, talked to a lady about Affordable Care Act insurance, and then went home and took a nap. The morning seminars were about surgical techniques, and passing.

Let me just say that I find it a little offensive that there were seminars on passing. I'm not faulting Equality Virginia on this though, I went to a seminar they held this summer asking trans people to create videos (here's mine: I AM: Transgender Virginia Speaks) and they talked to us about the upcoming TIES. Apparently an awful lot of trans people in Virginia gave them feedback that they really wanted a seminar on passing.

So the one for women was called The ABCs of Passing: Appearing More Feminine. (This is where I have to take a break to say that I have passing privilege. I think it's sexist and demeaning to have a seminar devoted to teaching how to act and appear more feminine, but I'm saying that from the perspective of someone who passes very well. Regardless) I think we as trans people really need a trans*feminist movement.

Here's what I mean by that: We, particularly trans women need to stand up and say that it doesn't matter how we express our gender--whether or not we know how to wear makeup, how often or even if we do our nails, whether we can walk in heels, pick out a feminine outfit, wear skirts, pantyhose, dresses, do our hair right, or bat our eyes. We need to stop policing gender--I did not transition to be "a woman." I transitioned to be myself--We, as trans women, need to have our own feminist movement, as in there is no right or wrong way to be a trans*woman. Having, insisting on having, seminars on passing is only reinforcing the idea that some of us are doing a better job at being women than others.

There's a support group in Richmond that I don't care for. I think it's because I come from reading the writings of Kate Bornstein, and other radical trans theory, and that group is almost more about just dealing with being "new women."

This trans feminist movement that we need, needs to be almost post gender. I know that for those of us who are trans it is hard not to think about gender, but really: I identify as a woman let's get beyond that and really start thinking about things.

We need trans equality, and we're not going to get there through classes on passing. As long as passing is our focus we'll always (and somewhat rightly) be seen as trying to reinforce a sexist system that we have in place.

And I'm saying this as a femme, who likes wearing dresses and makeup (sometimes).

I didn't attend the ABCs of Passing. I did thoroughly enjoy the afternoon seminars of gender queer. I'll talk about that a little more in another entry. Actually, I'm thinking of blogging for the Huffington Post (or submitting a proposal).

To change the subject: I don't think that I have no chance with this girl I like. I think there's a chance. I'm just writing that because I really believe that writing something down sends a message to the universe and creates reality. So I'm putting it out there. I'm also going to say this: I had a close friendship with another girl I really loved once and I never appreciated it because I always wanted more. And then she left and we rarely talk anymore. I'm not going to let that happen a second time. It's really rare that I find someone I feel like I connect with on so many levels, that even if friendship is all we'll ever have, I'm not going to give that up. So regardless of how hard it might be for me, I'm going to be a friend.

Oh and another change of subject. I'm going to be interviewed for a blog, The Heroines of my Life. She's going to be asking about my book and other things. I'm rather excited about it actually. And of course I hope it drives up sales for Straight Boy/Queer Girl: a memoir.