Definitions (again) which aren't mainstream ideas yet but are true nonetheless

I haven't had much to write about recently.

Not that there hasn't been anything happening, just nothing happening that I really feel like writing about in this blog. Too many people I know read this blog and there are some situations I don't want to post about here.

Some good some bad.

Anyway, I haven't written about my troubles with the TG clinic recently, and I won't. Overall I think they're doing a wonderful thing...they probably saved my life.

Also for whatever reason a lot of people I know have been making a lot of progress in their transitions recently.

I have kind of been coming to a new sense of understanding of myself as trans recently also. Which is interesting. It's really hard to explain. I do not identify as transgender. There is nothing trans about my gender, or gender expressions, or likes and dislikes, or my identity for that matter. But I do have a trans experience, and appreciation for which I'm increasingly proud of. I've toyed with the idea of doing drag (female to male) but the truth is I couldn't bear to see it. So as awesome as I think drag kings are I could never do it. Perhaps I'm not quite over the trauma of being misgendered for such a long time. On the other hand, I'm really not that type of girl. Masculinity is something I don't identify with enough to ever want to express. (masculinity referring in this instance to how one experiences their gender)

So, I am not transgender. I've talked about this with other transsexuals and maybe a few cissexuals. I don't know if cissexual cisgender people are capable of understanding it.

So to define terms (again):

Gender is how one experiences the world in terms of being masculine or feminine (or in between).
Sex is to what extent one's body is male or female.
Gender Identity refers to the innate sense of one's body (or what that body is supposed to be) as male, or female (or somewhere in between).
Transsexual is someone who's gender identity is not the same as their sex
Transgender is someone who's gender is not the same as their gender identity.

Make sense?

It is possible to be transsexual but not transgender, and it is possible to be transgender and not transsexual.

At one point I experienced my gender (masculine) as something different than my gender identity (female).
My gender never seemed natural to me (like feminine does) but I never the less experienced it. That made me transgender. I also experienced my gender identity (female) as different from my sex (male) which made me transsexual.
I gravitated towards my natural gender (feminine) over time and as I matured and became more confident in myself as a person. My natural gender matches my gender identity but not my sex. Hence I am transsexual not transgender. And there is a difference.